The things that I can't have I want
And what I have seems second-rate, 
The things I want to do I can't
And what I have to do I hate,
The things I want at once come late,
I am not feeling gay nor gleg*,
I'm really in an awful state,
My life is like a scrambled egg.
If I should order elephant
They'd put a camel on my plate,
If I should seek a wealthy aunt
A poor old uncle'd be my fate,
If I should say, "You amputate
My foot, and bring a wooden peg,"
They'd probably cut off my pate**;
My life is like a scrambled egg.
The things I want most of are scant,
The girls I really love won't mate,
The times when rage would make me rant
My larynx won't articulate;
Should I arrange some morn at eight
To beat my brains out with my leg
I'd probably forget the date;
My life is like a scrambled egg.
The simplest matters won't come straight,
For once I wooed a maid named Meg
And very nearly married Kate;
My life is like a scrambled egg.
*Gleg: smart
**Pate: head.
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