Frustration
    by Don Marquis

 
        
              The things that I can't have I want 
              And what I have seems second-rate, 
              The things I want to do I can't 
              And what I have to do I hate, 
              The things I want at once come late, 
              I am not feeling gay nor gleg*, 
              I'm really in an awful state, 
              My life is like a scrambled egg. 

              If I should order elephant 
              They'd put a camel on my plate, 
              If I should seek a wealthy aunt 
              A poor old uncle'd be my fate, 
              If I should say, "You amputate 
              My foot, and bring a wooden peg," 
              They'd probably cut off my pate**; 
              My life is like a scrambled egg. 

              The things I want most of are scant, 
              The girls I really love won't mate, 
              The times when rage would make me rant 
              My larynx won't articulate; 
              Should I arrange some morn at eight 
              To beat my brains out with my leg 
              I'd probably forget the date; 
              My life is like a scrambled egg. 

              The simplest matters won't come straight, 
              For once I wooed a maid named Meg 
              And very nearly married Kate; 
              My life is like a scrambled egg. 

*Gleg: smart
**Pate: head.