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Always Winning the Game

The silence is deafening
Your words screaming inside my head drowning all sane thoughts
One more comment, one more cruel sentence spills out of your mouth
They seem to be never ending--each one breaks me a little bit more
With each biting word you become more and more what I was so sure you weren't
How did you fool me so well
Why was I so sure you were different
Shame on me for falling for you so hard and so fast
Even now through all the things you've done and all the ways you've hurt me you still have my heart.
Just one apology and I would forgive you in a heartbeat
But you would never oblige me in that way, you have too much fun playing this game
You've made me sick so sick I can't see the difference between right and wrong
All I see is you and all I want is you but you don't want me
You never did but you loved persuading me to believe that I was all you wanted
I will never have you the way that I want you
This game is all that you want form me and nothing more
This game is too exciting and unpredictable for you to ever leave it behind
But this is a game that I will never win because you don't play fair
And I'm tired of being cheated, tired of always being the loser at the end of the night
All this fighting, scheming, and strategy has gotten me nowhere
I can't win and I don't want to
You've worn me out and I don't want to play anymore
Here's something you never expected, something you have no comeback for
I don't want you, you're too much work with too little reward
So have fun playing this game by yourself you never seem to get tired of it
Maybe because you're always winning

 

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The author tells us “I wrote this poem about someone who hurt me very much and continues to do so. He has been in my life for over a year and he's one of those people that even though you know that they're bad for you, you just can't seem to let them go or walk away from them. Even when you get up enough courage to do so, they pull you back. For a long time I never understood why he liked having this kind of relationship, but I realized after a long time that he just likes the game.”